If You Have To Ask Him For These 10 Things, He’s Not Your Person
TO LISTEN
You’re having a bad day and really need to vent. Your boyfriend has no clue, even though anyone can see you’ve been crying. If you have to ask him to listen to your problems, there’s a problem in your relationship. It’s even more of a red flag if he says he’s listening but then looks like his mind is elsewhere. How rude!
PERMISSION TO SEE YOUR MALE FRIENDS
If he’s jealous of your platonic friends and you feel like you have to ask him for time spent with them, that’s a huge red flag. He shouldn’t be so controlling and possessive. A guy who truly loves you in a healthy way will want you to have your life outside of the relationship, male guy friends included.
TO BE THERE FOR YOU
When you’re going through a tough time, you want your partner to step up and offer you support. He should give you emotional support and it should come standard, but you shouldn’t have to ask him for it! He should know that you need him to be by your side, through whatever comes your way. It should even apply to the good times. He should be your number one cheerleader in those cases.
SOME ALONE TIME
You can’t make a relationship work in a healthy way if you don’t get time to yourself. That can cause you to become too dependent on your partner or cause you to make the relationship your entire world. Yup, red flag alert! You should feel comfortable enough to have some evenings or weekend days to yourself without him firing up your phone with texts every hour. Besides, he should also want to have some alone time to do his stuff.
TO PLAY NICE WITH YOUR FRIENDS
He doesn’t have to get along with your BFFs but he should make some effort to be nice to them. If he’s creating a hostile environment in your social circle, the dude doesn’t deserve you. When your partner loves you, he’ll care about and respect things and people that are important to you.
TO FREE UP HIS SCHEDULE
You should never have to ask a guy for his time. It’s fine to invite him out on a date every now and then, but he should open up his schedule for you without you having to ask if he can see you (after getting rejected three times in a row). If he likes you, he’ll make time for you. Period.
TO HAVE SINGLE DATES INSTEAD OF GROUP DATES
Spending time with other couples, whether your friends or his, can be fun from time to time. However, group dates shouldn’t be your main relationship outings. You still need time to spend with your BF, just the two of you. Otherwise, how can you learn about each other and grow with each other?
TO STOP BUGGING YOU
You shouldn’t try to change anyone, but when it comes to annoying things your partner does that really upset you, he should break his bad habits. For example, if he teases you in a way that really upsets you and you’ve asked him to stop but he doesn’t seem to care that he’s hurting you, that’s not OK. He’s crossing a line.
TO TELL YOU WHAT’S WRONG
You’re not a mind reader. Even though your guy might not be as open about his feelings as you are, that doesn’t mean that he should be a complete mystery to you all the time. He should let you in by expressing what’s on his mind or in his heart. If you can’t get that from him, like when he stonewalls you after you ask him why he looks upset, then he’s really shutting you out. It’s not fair on you.
TO KEEP YOU UPDATED ON HIS LIFE
If he’s chatting to his social media followers about his new job or sharing his wins with friends but not letting you know about what’s happening in his life, there’s a relationship problem. You shouldn’t have to check in to find out how he’s been as if he’s an acquaintance. He’s your boyfriend and he should damn well act like it. He should be treating you like you’re a team, not flying solo or being super mysterious like he works for the FBI. If that’s the case, then you’re just a couple in name but not heart. Don’t waste another day on this guy.
Link:https://www.bolde.com/if-you-have-ask-him-these-things-not-your-person/