Worst Bank Robber Ever Uses Lyft As Getaway Car To O'Hare Airport

 

ROLLING MEADOWS, Ill. -- A man has been charged with robbing a bank in northwest suburban Rolling Meadows and hiring a Lyft car to escape to O'Hare Airport.Jonathan Decorah is accused of robbing almost $6,000 the Ben Franklin Bank of Illinois in the 3200 block of Kirchoff Road, according to a criminal complaint filed by the FBI on Monday.Decorah, 43, of Arlington Heights, allegedly exited his hired Lyft car and entered the bank at 9:35 a.m. on Feb. 9, the complaint states.He handed a teller a note that said, "Give me all the money or I'll blow your head off. I got two guys outside with machine guns," the complaint states. Decorah kept one hand inside his jacket.Another employee saw Decorah from a distance and remembered him as a regular customer, the complaint states. The employee recognized Decorah's crooked nose when it slipped from his mask.Can this guy get an award for dumbest criminal alive?? I mean, who calls a rideshare service and uses it as THEIR GETAWAY VEHICLE. Bruh. How about you pick a car with more ways to pinpoint it's location? You can't. Because it's freaking Lyft...I honestly just want to know how that conversation went inside the car before this idiot walked into the bank. Also, rule #1 in being a bank robber is probably to never rob a bank you FREQUENT ON A REGULAR BASIS. Especially a one-off bank like "Ben Franklin Bank Of Illinois" What even is that? There are literally thousands of BMO Harris, Chase, TCF, hell, even Citi Banks in the Chicagoland area and this dumbass walks into the standalone bank that probably has fifty recurring customers and everyone knows everyone. It's like Norm Peterson walking into the Cheers bar and trying to rob Same Malone...everybody knows your name. It's not. going. to. work. And it didn't. Police found and arrested Decorah at the airport with almost four and a half thousand dollars on him. Honestly, if he wouldn't gotten away with it, boarded that plane and was never seen again, this would be a completely different blog. But he got caught, and that makes him the dumbest "criminal" of 2019 (so far, I'm hoping I come across more of these stories in the future, boneheads are just so easy to make fun of). @Traceahamilton

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